Changing how you think about exercise

How do you stop exercise feeling like a chore?

Exercise feels less like a chore when your reasons for doing it are your own, rather than pressure from outside. Doing it for reasons you value, or because you enjoy it, is linked with taking part¹. Enjoying the experience itself seems especially important for sticking with it over a longer time¹. Enjoyment is also an immediate reward, while health benefits arrive much later².

Here is how to make that real:

• Name your own reasons. Ask yourself why you want to be active, in your own words: feeling more capable, or having time outdoors, rather than what you think you should do.
• Choose activity you like or are curious about. Self-chosen activity with a level of challenge that suits you can be motivating in itself¹. Swap anything that bores you: boredom lowers motivation, while enjoyment during and after activity encourages more³.
• Add company or a little play. Many older adults find that exercising with other people makes it more enjoyable, sometimes more than the activity itself³. The NHS suggests being active with friends, family or children, or setting a friendly challenge such as seeing who can do the most steps in a day⁵.
• Start small and build up. Gradual steps help your confidence grow². Set realistic goals and look at them again now and then.
• Keep a simple tally. Every bit of activity counts, so a short walk is not a failure.

What feels pleasant differs from person to person: the same tiredness can feel bad to one person and good to another². If something doesn’t suit you, try something else.

Does saying 'I get to' instead of 'I have to' help?

It may help, but it isn’t clear yet that this exact wording works. What matters most is the idea behind it: choosing exercise for your own reasons. Increases in self-chosen motivation are linked with positive changes in health behaviour, while increases in doing it only because you feel you have to are not⁶. Having some ‘have to’ reasons isn’t necessarily a problem, as long as you hold reasons of your own too¹.

Here is what you can try:

• Ask what you get from it. If ‘I have to’ creeps in, think about what you personally get: a calmer afternoon, or being able to keep up with the grandchildren. Then say that instead.
• Try a question. Asking yourself ‘Will I go for a walk today?’ may strengthen your intention to exercise⁷. Treat it as an experiment, not a proven method.
• Be kind to yourself when it’s hard. Swap ‘I can’t do this’ for ‘this is hard but I’m trying’, and talk to yourself the way you would to a friend who needs encouragement⁸.
• Pair new wording with practical support. A single strategy tends to have limited impact on its own, so combine it with activity you like, a friendly setting and small steps⁴. Confidence also tends to grow as the people, place and routine become familiar².

When to check with a health professional

If you’re starting exercise after a long break, it’s always a good idea to see your doctor first.

For an injury or a health condition, see a health professional, such as your doctor or a physio. They can help you choose activity that suits you.

Call your local emergency number for chest pain or pressure (or pain spreading to the arm, neck, jaw or back, especially with sweating or feeling sick), severe breathlessness, fainting or collapse, signs of a stroke, a serious injury, or someone who isn’t safe.

For a sore muscle or joint, ease off, and see a doctor or other health professional if it persists or gets worse. Unusual tiredness isn’t something to push through, so get it checked by a doctor.

Self-critical thoughts about exercise are common and are not a disorder in themselves. If negative self-talk is constant, leaves you feeling stressed or low, or affects daily life, see a doctor or mental health professional.

If you have thoughts of self-harm, contact a local crisis line (findahelpline.com lists free services in every country), with your local emergency number.