Meeting people through activity

Is exercise a good way to meet people?

Probably yes. Joining an exercise class or exercising with others is a good way to meet people. You start with a shared interest, which makes it easier to chat about other things as you go¹. People in walking groups valued the chat, laughter and company, and one said it eased the loneliness of walking alone⁴. Programmes that get people walking in organised groups increase how active people are. Groups led by trained volunteers work about as well as groups led by professionals⁵.

If getting to a group in person is hard, an online group is an option, because online groups work about as well as face-to-face ones³. If you feel nervous, a gym class can be easier to try with a friend¹.

How do you build friendships through activity?

Being active alongside other people is the starting point, but it may not be enough on its own: the loneliness benefit depends on the quality of the relationships during the activity². So look for company that feels friendly, and let the activity be your conversation.

• Chat about the activity itself. A class or group gives you a ready-made shared interest¹.
• Start close to home. Ask a neighbour, a work colleague or a family member nearby to set a daily or weekly workout date with you¹.
• Stay for refreshments if the group has them. Some walkers saw this as a real benefit⁴.
• Try a buddy. Programmes where people exercise with a partner have worked, in older adults too, and family members can be buddies⁶.

Why does showing up regularly help social connections?

Turning up regularly helps you stick with activity, and social connection is one of the reasons older adults give for sticking with group exercise⁷. A few practical things make it easier:

• A fixed arrangement. If you've arranged to meet a friend or booked a class, you're more likely to keep it. Not wanting to let your partner down can get you out the door¹.
• A pep talk. On days you don't feel like it, a message from a workout buddy can be the lift you need¹.
• Commitment to the group. Walkers said feeling committed, and keeping the time free, helped them keep going⁴.
• Routine. After a few weeks, exercise tends to feel less challenging and you're more likely to stick with it¹.

Why do varied social connections help in fitness?

It isn't clear that a bigger or more varied circle helps in itself. Having more contacts or more support doesn't reliably mean more activity⁸. What stands out is the kind of support. In older adults, support from both friends and family is linked with more leisure-time activity, though that shows a link, not a cause⁶. Being active with others also only tends to ease loneliness when the relationships are good².

So quality matters more than numbers. Someone who gives you a push on flat days may be more useful than a large circle¹. Support can also run both ways: in inactive couples, people who gave their partner support for activity were more active themselves, in a better mood and more satisfied with the relationship⁹.

How do you balance solo and social exercise?

You probably don't have to choose. Both individual and group formats, in person or online, may work, and a choice to suit your preferences and circumstances can widen who takes part³. For how much activity people do, group and individual programmes give similar changes³. Exercising with others may do more for how you feel than exercising alone¹⁰. A friend at about your own fitness level can encourage you to push a little harder¹.

Solo sessions still count. Some activity is better than none, and activity of any length counts towards the WHO recommendation of 150–300 minutes of moderate-intensity activity a week, or 75–150 minutes of vigorous-intensity¹¹. That is a direction, not an entry requirement.

A simple mix is one social session a week and shorter solo sessions on other days. If a friend or group cancels, a short solo session still counts.

Can shared activity strengthen your relationships?

It may support relationships, but it isn't a sure way to strengthen them: a general effect on relationship quality isn't established, and programmes for couples mainly improve activity itself¹². Shared activity is linked with better mood and day-to-day satisfaction with the relationship¹². Most of this is about couples and families, not friends or new acquaintances.

To make it work for you:

• Invite rather than demand. Arguments about exercise are linked with more psychological distress, so if you disagree, take the pressure off¹³.
• Stretch a little. Relationship satisfaction tends to be highest when a shared task is moderately challenging and within your skills¹⁴.
• Involve family. Family members can make good buddies⁶.

What are some active date ideas?

There's no set list; what matters is how you choose. Pick something new to you both, and choose it together rather than one person deciding¹⁴. For example, you could try a walk on a route neither of you knows. Aim for a moderate challenge within your skills, because a task that is too easy or too hard tends to suit couples less¹⁴. It doesn't need to get your heart racing¹⁴. Keep the effort gentle at first and build up.

Change the activity from time to time. Variety helps you stick with a plan, with more fun and less reason to quit¹.

If you're wary of technology, choose activities that don't need apps or devices. Setup and connectivity can be hard for people who aren't used to them¹⁵.

Can activity bridge generations?

Probably yes, although most of the research is about older adults and is thin for people in their 40s to 70s. Programmes that bring older and younger people together tend to report social, wellbeing and health benefits for older adults¹⁶. Programmes pairing young adults (18–30) with older adults (65+) report better mental health, more social inclusion and less ageism¹⁷. Active time with children can bring older adults a sense of youthfulness, vitality and happiness, and good relationships can benefit both generations¹⁵. Whether these programmes raise activity levels themselves isn't clear yet.

To try it, look for local intergenerational or community programmes. You could also set up a regular walk or game with a grandchild, a younger relative or a neighbour. Know where a session is and how you'll get there first, because safety concerns, unfamiliar locations and lack of direct transport put some people off¹⁵. Online, use sites run by an organisation you trust and don't share too much personal information.

When to check with a health professional

If you're starting exercise after a long break, it's always a good idea to see your doctor first.

For an injury or a health condition, see a health professional, such as your doctor or a physio. If you have diabetes, talk to your doctor or a diabetes organisation about the right approach¹⁸. If you live with a disability, you may need a healthcare professional or disability specialist to help decide the right type and amount of activity¹¹. If one or both of you has a long-term condition, plan activities around how it affects what you can do.

Call your local emergency number for chest pain or pressure (or pain spreading to the arm, neck, jaw or back, especially with sweating or feeling sick), severe breathlessness, fainting or collapse, signs of a stroke, a serious injury, or someone who isn't safe.

For a sore muscle or joint, or soreness a day or two later, ease off, and see a doctor or other health professional if it persists or gets worse.

Exercising with someone means help is at hand if something goes wrong¹. When meeting new people, choose public, well-known places and be careful with personal details online. Activity can support how you feel, but it doesn't replace any treatment or medication you're on. If loneliness or low mood feels heavy, talk to your doctor or a mental health service.