Getting back on track after years of looking after small children

How do you restart exercise after years of looking after small children?

Start small and build up slowly. For all adults, some physical activity is better than none, and you gain health benefits by beginning with small amounts and gradually increasing how often, how hard and how long you are active¹.

• Begin gently. Start at a low intensity for about 10 minutes on the first day, such as an easy walk, and progress at a pace that feels safe and manageable².
• Add a little each day. Time is a good thing to build first, working up towards 30 minutes².
• Under-do it at first. Be wary of too much, too fast, too soon, and think of it as a long game².
• Fit it around your day. The WHO removed its old rule that activity must come in bouts of at least 10 minutes, so short bursts count¹.
• Work towards the weekly target over time. The WHO recommends at least 150 minutes of moderate-intensity activity a week for adults⁵. Anything below that still helps, and there is no threshold you must pass before benefits begin⁶.

How do you deal with guilt about taking time for yourself?

Guilt about time away from your family is common, and it affects fathers as well as mothers. Many parents see their family as the priority and feel guilty taking time to be active³.

A few ideas can help:

• Link activity to your values. Think of it as something that helps you care for your family. For example, less stress can help you be a more patient parent³.
• Be active with your children, or while they are busy. Fitting activity in with children, or during their activities, was one of the main things that helped parents³.
• Treat it as self-compassion. Some parents find that putting themselves first sometimes helps them recharge and reset, and shows their children healthy habits⁷.
• Keep it small and realistic. Short sessions count¹, so you don't need to take big blocks of time away.
• Treat a missed day as a normal part of getting going again, not a failure. Pick up with a small session when you can.

How do you rebuild fitness and confidence as a parent?

Rebuild gradually, and use a few simple habits that help change last. Programmes for inactive adults tend to produce steady, modest change rather than quick change⁴.

• Make a specific plan. Decide which days, what time and what activity, and set a reminder⁴. Planning, goal setting and scheduling are also key to keeping activity going for busy working parents³.
• Practise and move up in small steps. Doing the activity regularly builds skill, and raising the effort gradually is linked with programmes that work⁴. Don't jump ahead.
• Choose something you enjoy, so it's easier to come back to.
• Reward yourself for effort, not only for results. Rewarding yourself is one of the habits linked with activity continuing⁴.

For more on feeling more at ease with getting going, see Twikka's general guide Building confidence.

When to check with a health professional

If you're starting exercise after a long break, it's always a good idea to see your doctor first.

For an injury or a health condition, see a health professional, such as your doctor or a physio. If you live with a disability, talk with a health professional or specialist about the type and amount of activity that suits you^1,8.

Build up gradually. The WHO judged that the benefits of activity outweigh the harms, and that risks can be managed by increasing the amount and intensity slowly¹.

Call your local emergency number for chest pain or pressure (or pain spreading to the arm, neck, jaw or back, especially with sweating or feeling sick), severe breathlessness, fainting or collapse, signs of a stroke, a serious injury, or someone who isn't safe.

If you feel sick, sweaty or unwell, have unexplained discomfort, or have breathlessness or dizziness that doesn't settle during or after activity, don't just ease off. Use the emergency advice above, or see a doctor if it is mild and passing. A sore muscle or joint, or soreness a day or two later, is the time to ease off, and to see a doctor or other health professional if it persists or gets worse.

If you are pregnant or have recently had a baby, bleeding, fluid leaking, regular painful contractions, the baby moving less, calf pain or swelling, or a bad headache or changes in vision need the midwife, doctor or maternity unit straight away.

If you have thoughts of self-harm, contact a local crisis line (findahelpline.com lists free services in every country), with your local emergency number. If guilt or low mood comes with feeling unable to cope, talk to your doctor or a mental health service.